


Strength and Courage

by qaffangyrl



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Near Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 05:18:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qaffangyrl/pseuds/qaffangyrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set shortly after 513. Hopefully this will help us feel better about b/j’s future.</p>
<p>“Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.”<br/>- Lao Tzu</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength and Courage

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ in Nov 2006

Justin waited on the curb in front of the East Village Artist’s Coalition. It had only taken him two weeks in New York to secure some semi-decent studio space and he was waiting for the movers to arrive from Pittsburgh. He didn’t really own any furniture to speak of but Justin had spent a minor fortune in art supplies over the past few months and he was anxious to get back to work on some of the new canvases he’d started back home. Home, that’s a funny word, Justin thought to himself. Since his senior year in high school, Justin had lived at his mom’s, at Deb’s, at Brian’s, at Daphne’s and for a few weeks he’d even slept alone on a mattress in his sixth floor walk-up.

Now, he was couching it at Daphne’s friend Raquel’s while living out of his duffle bags. He supposed the important thing was that he’d been able to find a place to get some work done now that he was in “the City.” Justin was looking down the street for any sign of a moving van when a Ford F150 with a hard top over the truck bed pulled up in front of him.

“Hey.” Brian called out as he rolled down the passenger side window. “You wanna give me a hand with all this shit?” 

Justin’s heart skipped a beat. It had only been 12 days since he’d left Brian asleep in the loft but, Christ, it felt like an eternity. Justin ran around to the driver’s side of the truck with little regard for the on coming traffic, “What are you doing here?” Justin asked in disbelief as Brian stepped out of the vehicle.

“I drive three hundred, fucking miles with all your shit and that’s the greeting I get?” Brian complained. At this comment Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck and planted kisses all over his cheeks and chin and neck before thrusting his tongue hungrily between Brian’s lips. Brian laughed through the kiss and said, “That’s more like it.”

“I’m so happy to see you but what happened to my movers?” Justin could feel his knees weaken a little and he began to think he was getting high on Brian’s scent.

“I wasn’t about to let those knuckle draggers out of my sight with your masterpieces. So, I informed Stan from payroll that he’d be lending me this behemoth of an automobile for the weekend so I could drive everything down myself.”

Justin followed Brian to the back of the truck and watched on as Brian attempted to unhook the hard top and tailgate. “Mother fuck!” Brian shouted as he struggled to get the lever to release.

“I think if you just move this latch here it’ll…” The tail gate fell open and Justin gave Brian one of his killer grins.

“Don’t think I’m impressed in the slightest that you know how to deal with pick-up trucks.” Brian frowned but Justin could tell that Brian was just being an asshole out of habit. Justin had learned by now that Brian was full of shit when it came to his grumpiness, well at least most of the time.

Brian and Justin unloaded the truck and took turns carrying the supplies and canvases into studio 112. It was all the way at the end of the hall but at least it was on the first floor. When they got the last of Justin’s things inside Brian leaned against the work bench and took in the sight of Justin.

“What?”

Brian shook his head then shrugged and said, “I hope you realize how fuckin’ proud I am of you.”

“You are?” Brian’s tone made Justin nervous. He sounded deadly serious and even the slightest bit maudlin. “What for?”

Brian held out his arms at his sides and replied, “For all this. For moving to New York; for doing all the things I never had the balls to do when I was your age.”

Justin reached out and put his hand in the center of Brian’s chest. He could feel Brian’s heart pounding. “Brian,” was all Justin could manage to say with the lump residing firmly in his throat. Brian took a step away from Justin and then crossed the room to put some distance between them. He fell silent and looked out the window. Justin had to use every ounce of restraint he had in him not to say anything. He could tell that Brian was actually trying to communicate and as hard as it must be right now for Brian to talk it was even harder for Justin just to keep his mouth shut and wait.

Finally, Brian turned back around to face Justin. “All of it. Christ, people think I’m some kind of superhero but that’s a load crap. You’re…” Brian’s voice started to crack but he continued anyway, “…you’re the bravest man I’ve ever met.” Brian let out a deep sigh. Justin ached at the sight of Brian’s bare vulnerability. He wanted to run to Brian and tell him that he didn’t need to hear any of this but he didn’t because Justin knew that Brian needed to say it for himself.

“I’ve been trying to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Justin asked as he walked up to the window and stood next to Brian.

“On the drive down here I realized that it was that night outside of Babylon when you told off your father.” Brian looked down and took Justin’s hand in his own before he finished. “I think that’s when…when I started loving you.” Brian bit his lip then pulled Justin in front of him so he could look directly into his eyes.

Justin felt overwhelmed. For whatever reason, Justin found it as hard to hear Brian use the word ‘love’ as he supposed it must be for Brian to actually say it. Despite this, Justin waited to see what else Brian would say. Brian Kinney revelations came so few and far between that Justin certainly wasn’t going to spoil it by saying something that would make Brian revert back to his ever comfortable, dirty and sarcastic mode of speech.

Brian grimaced and shook his head as he continued, “I never stood up to my old man like that. Not once. Christ, and I was nearly thirty before I came out to him and that was only because if he was gonna die hating me I wanted to give him a decent reason to.”

Justin couldn’t stand it anymore so he asked, “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because you deserve to know. I realize now that buying you a house and attempting to join the ranks of the Stepford fags can never make up for all the times you just needed me to tell you that I loved you and I didn’t.”

“Brian, I’ve always known how you felt about me.”

Brian raised an eyebrow at Justin’s comment so he clarified by saying, “You showed me that you loved me a thousand times. And all that stuff you said about my being brave, where did you think I got my courage from?”

Brian just shrugged so Justin snaked his arms around Brian’s waist and explained, “You were the one who let my dad know that living by his rules meant I’d have to deny everything I am. You were the one who convinced me to go to PIFA. God, if you hadn’t I’d probably be working on my MBA now rather than taking the New York art world by storm.” At this Brian just laughed, “Alright so school might not have been for me either way but New York, well you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It took me all of about five minutes to figure out that you picked that fight with me so I’d call off the wedding. I would have never had the strength to do that on my own and you knew it, didn’t you?”

“I knew you belonged here in New York.”

“Hmm. Well that may be but it doesn’t matter where I live. I’ll always belong to you. I love you Brian.”

Brian pulled Justin close to him and they rested their foreheads together. “I love you too, Justin.”

They both smiled and gently caressed each other’s cheeks then, Brian reached into his jeans pocket and said, “Here, I never wear this anymore but I thought you might want it.”

Brian held out his cowry shell bracelet. Justin just stared at it. “It’s not a big deal. If you don’t think you’ll wear it I’ll just toss it back in the drawer where I found it.”

“No, it is a big deal, Brian. Thank you. Will you put it on me?” 

“Sure.”

Justin gave Brian his wrist so he could tie the ends of the bracelet together. Then, Justin took a step back and struck a silly hand model pose, “What do you think?” He asked with a sunshiny smile.

Brian smiled back and replied, “I think this is just the beginning.”

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated


End file.
